CP #3

I met with Binshan for lunch on campus. We spoke a while about the difficulty of sorting through research. Binshan explained to me that the ways in which you can use the ideas of others in China is different from the ways you are expected to cite them in the U.S. This was a pretty significant cultural difference I was not aware of. I'll remember to explicitly speak about these differences when I teach composition in the future.

As we were finishing up lunch, I asked Binshan if she'd mind talking outside for a bit. We opened the door to walk out of the restaurant and I made a comment about how nice it was to have sunlight again. Binshan laughed and remarked that Asian girls didn't like sunlight. She talked about how her mother, as she said many Asian mothers do, would often chide her for getting "darker." I remarked that in America, some women pay money for tanning beds or artificial tans, because they value the look of a tan so much. Binshan said that she believes Asian girls look dirty when they have tan skin, but American girls look more beautiful. I was sad to hear this sort of idea.

I redirected the conversation towards how we cultivate confidence in ourselves. We agreed that developing new skills and mastering things we are already good at makes us feel most powerful. Binshan asked me where I gain my confidence in myself from, which wasn't such an easy question to answer. I talked to Binshan about how my parents placed more of an emphasis on talking about my honesty, curiosity, and intelligence growing up--rather than my appearance. It is these things about myself that have brought me the best experiences, and have brought me into relationships with similar people. Binshan and I talked about relationships at this point. I learned from Binshan's experiences that in China, if a guy is interested in a girl, they agree to be monogamous and then begin dating each other. I mentioned that it is usually the opposite in America, and the rationale behind it is (I think) that you want to see if you have a connection with someone before you stop looking. I suppose I can see how it might be liberating in a different way to have an agreed space to get to know someone through monogamy, rather than open dating. Independence and freedom has its sway, however.